Leveraging Stress

Written by: Conal Murphy

Edited by: Jocelyn Martin

I was in the woods, leading my friends through the wilderness, when I saw it—a black bear. What should I do? Do I fight it? Run away? Stand still? I had training in this, but I needed to make a decision that would protect my friends and I. So how can I make a calculated decision despite my legitimate fears?

Understanding The Four F’s

The four F’s stand for fight, flight, freeze, and fawn, which are exhibited during moments of tension.1 These responses display themselves as a defence mechanism in order for the individual to feel protected in any given situation—whether responding to a bear in the woods or a combative client in the office.

● Fight: Reacts with aggression to confront the conflict using a great deal of energy.

● Flight: Avoids or escapes from conflict using a great deal of energy.

● Freeze: Allows conflict to unfold without interference and uses little energy.

● Fawn: The least known strategy out of the four F’s.² This is when you seek to please others in the conflict, often at a personal expense, and can be used as a result of trauma experienced during childhood.³  

We don’t recommend the use of the fawn strategy. When you are feeling like what you’re doing is to please others—shift the question, “What would serve this person, not please them?” Service is about what is best for the other rather than trying to protect oneself. To better manage our stress responses, we will start by understanding why we experience them and how to differentiate between them. Then we will apply some strategies for each.

Why Do We Experience These Responses?  

You may be wondering, why do we individuals typically respond with one of the four F’s under tension? Scientists have done research that articulates the reasons underlying our reactions to the aforementioned emotions. These reactions originate from the amygdala, a brain region responsible for processing emotions.

The amygdala then proceeds to send a warning signal to another part of the brain known as the hypothalamus, and subsequently the remainder of the body. Finally, the body will then respond with one of the four F’s in the stressful circumstance.⁴  

Recognizing Your Mode to Overcome the Negative Effects of Stress 

For most, stress can be hard to manage. It is important for individuals to recognize their emotions to monitor potential negative symptoms and treat them effectively. Prolonged stress can negatively impact an individual’s physical and mental health — correlating with an elevated risk for increased blood pressure, anxiety, depression, and/or addiction.⁴ The first important step to take is becoming aware of the negative responses caused by stress and then regulating your behavior. This will then provide the foundation for self-compassion, enabling you to use these natural stress-related responses as a strength rather than simply writing them off as weaknesses.¹ Since the body responds with Fight, Flight, Freeze, or Fawn to protect us, it's important to recognize what state of stress you are currently in. 

1. Identify Your Stress-Related Feelings:

Frustration and Protectiveness ➜ Fight  Anxiety and an Overactive Mind ➜ Flight  Disconnection and Speechlessness ➜ Freeze   Compliance and People-Pleasing ➜ Fawn5

2. Use Stress-Related Responses To Your Advantage In Times of Tension 

The responses fight, flight, and freeze all become prevalent during stressful situations; however, when utilized properly, the emotions can make a difference in situations of strain. 

Drawing from Velumyan, here is a three-step process on how to implement these responses successfully. 

Applying the Stress-relieving Tactics of Cognitive and Sensory Grounding 

Another mechanism that individuals can use to calm themself down is cognitive and sensory grounding. Cognitive grounding is the practice of an individual reassuring themself and acknowledging that they are in a safe space. The sensory grounding strategy enables an individual to observe their surroundings for the purpose of regulating their emotions.1

As an outdoors enthusiast, I have to expect the unexpected at all times. There are situations when I never know what may come next, whether it is when I am on the water canoeing, hiking in the great outdoors, or on a long camping trip. During a seven-day camping trip with my friends  we encountered a black bear. It was my first time ever seeing this animal in person, and my natural response was to freeze; however, I remembered that there was a certain way to interact when approached with a black bear. I took a bit of time to gather my thoughts and stay calm while drawing back on my knowledge by using the freeze response. I remembered that the right approach is to make yourself intimidating while slowly backing away by displaying the flight emotion to let the black bear acknowledge that my friends and I were not a threat. I made myself look as big as possible by challenging my inner fight and screamed to the bear to “STAY BACK” while we left the scene. Thankfully, we were able to get out of the bad situation; however, although my initial response was to freeze, the intent of the response was not to harm me. In addition, I was able to use the response of a mixture of freeze, flight, and fight to my advantage to get my friends and myself away safely. 

Moving Forward… 

Learning how to use your stress-related responses to your advantage can be difficult at first. Take the first step today by setting up a free Consultation with a Meta Excellence Coach.

References

1. Millacci, T. S. (2023, November 23). 7 Trauma Response Types & How to Recognize Them. PositivePyschology.com. https://positivepsychology.com/trauma-response/

2. Velumyan, N. (2024, August 12). Freeze, Flight, Fight: How To Use Our Primal Instincts To Navigate Uncertainty Successfully. Forbes. 

https://www.forbes.com/councils/forbescoachescouncil/2021/01/26/freeze-flight-fight-how-to-use-our-prim al-instincts-to-navigate-uncertainty-successfully/ 

3. Gaba, S. (2020, August 22). Understanding Fight, Flight, Freeze and the Fawn Response. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/addiction-and-recovery/202008/understanding-fight-flight-freez e-and-the-fawn-response 

4. LeWine, H. (Reviewer). (2024, April 3). Understanding the stress response: Chronic activation of this survival mechanism impairs health. Harvard Health Publishing. 

https://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/understanding-the-stress-response 

5. Christy, C. (2025, April 28). How to tell if you’re in fight, flight, freeze, or Fawn Mode (and what to do about it). How to Tell if You’re in Fight, Flight, Freeze, or Fawn Mode (and What to Do About It). https://drcatherinechristy.substack.com/p/how-to-tell-if-youre-in-fight-flight