7 Leadership Mindset Shifts for Thriving Through Change

Change has a way of revealing who we really are. Not when things are easy. Not when everything is flowing perfectly. But when plans fall apart, pressure rises, and uncertainty shows up at the door.

After working for over 25 years in social services, leading teams, supporting families, and now coaching people through deep personal transformation, I’ve learned something important:

1. Leaders are the ones willing to evolve rather than control everything.

The leaders who thrive aren’t the ones trying to control everything. They’re the ones willing to evolve.

As Grant (2021) shares:

That quote stopped me in my tracks because it’s true in every area of leadership and life.

So many of us become attached to how things should be done, how people should act, or how leadership should look. I know for me, I used to try to control everything at work so tightly that I wouldn’t delegate tasks because I thought I had to do it all myself. In reality, all it did was burn me out while also preventing my team from having the opportunity to step up, grow, and shine.  But when we tighten our grip on control, we often lose sight of the opportunities sitting right in front of us.

Adaptive leadership is about being willing to see what you can’t always see. It’s listening to ideas instead of immediately shutting them down. It’s being open enough to ask for help when you need it and curious enough to reevaluate what may actually work better.

And when we loosen that grip on needing to control everything, we create space for growth -not just within ourselves, but within the people around us too.

2. Growth happens in trying during uncertainty.

The next shift is moving from certainty to experimentation. For years I thought everything had to be figured out before taking action. But growth doesn’t happen inside certainty. Growth happens in the trying.

Trying again.
Adjusting.
Learning what works and what doesn’t.

And honestly? In that space, you realize failure stops becoming the enemy. Because every experience becomes feedback. Every challenge becomes information. And suddenly the sky really does become the limit.

3. Convert reacting into responding.

One of the biggest transformations in my own life came from learning the difference between reacting and responding. I was the QUEEN of reacting. Stress? I reacted. Pressure? I reacted. Conflict? I definitely reacted.

And in that space, I achieved nothing except exhaustion. I was spinning my wheels constantly, and people avoided me because they never knew what version of me they were going to get.

As Chamine (2012) explains:

That was me for a long time. But learning to pause before responding became one of my greatest strengths. Now I reflect. I communicate intentionally. I show up how I want to be seen—not by hiding who I am, but by being aware of how I respond. And that awareness changed everything.

4. Use boundaries to give a fair and honest, “Yes” or “No”.

Boundaries were another massive shift for me. I used to be the “go-to girl.” Supervisors knew if they called me, I would say yes—even at my own detriment. That isn’t leadership. That’s self-abandonment.

When I started saying “no,” it wasn’t from anger or resentment. It was from finally valuing myself enough to pause and ask myself three simple questions:

• Do I have it to give?

• Do I want to give it?

• Under what circumstances am I willing to give it?

Those questions changed everything for me. Because if the answer was no, then the answer became no. And if I genuinely wanted to help and had the energy to give, I stopped sacrificing myself in the process. Instead, I started responding with what actually worked for me.

For example, if I was asked to work a 9 -9 shift but realistically could only give 9 -3 without completely draining myself, I would say: “I’m available from 9 - 3.”

What they chose to do with that was up to them. That was a huge mindset shift for me because I realized boundaries weren’t about refusing people -they were about being honest about what I could sustainably give.

That naturally led me to live more from alignment instead of performance. For years I was leading in ways that didn’t feel like me. I was being told by superiors how I “should” lead, how I “should” show up, and people feel that disconnect. They feel when you aren’t being yourself.

5. Focus on alignment over performance.

When you lead from your heart, people feel safe. They feel seen. You move people differently.

6. Focus on collective success.

Another huge shift for me was moving from individual success to collective success. I was raised believing you had to be the best or someone else would get ahead of you. Writing those words now feels heavy.

Because the truth is:

We grow faster and bigger when we work together.

When people feel safe enough to contribute their gifts, magic starts to happen. You begin to see people’s brilliance emerge in ways competition could never create.

7. Sustainable impact is more valuable than quick wins.

And finally, there’s the shift from chasing quick wins to creating sustainable impact.

Quick wins are great. They matter. But adaptive leaders step back and look at the bigger picture. They ask how today’s decisions shape tomorrow’s outcomes. That’s where meaningful leadership lives.

James Clear, the author of Atomic Habits, points out the power of small, incremental growth:

As M. A. Habibi (2024) writes in Harnessing Psychology in Advanced Strategic Management, “Adaptive leadership, with its focus on flexibility, innovation, and dynamic responsiveness, offers a vital pathway to resilience and success in today's turbulent times.”⁵

To me, adaptive leadership means being open, intentional, self-aware, and willing to see where others are coming from without judgment. This journey is deeply personal for me because I’ve lived every one of these shifts-in leadership, parenting, relationships, and life.

I know what it feels like to lose yourself in a role, a job, or a relationship and slowly find your way back to yourself again.

Because leadership is more about having the strength and courage to evolve - not about having all of the answers.

The leaders who thrive through change aren’t the ones who hold on tighter - they’re the ones willing to rethink, realign, and rise into who they’re truly meant to become.

¹ Chamine, S. (2012). Positive intelligence: Why only 20% of teams and individuals achieve their true potential and how you can achieve yours. Greenleaf Book Group Press.

² George, B. (2007). True north: Discover your authentic leadership. Jossey-Bass.

³ Grant, A. (2021). Think again: The power of knowing what you don't know. Viking.

⁴ Clear, J. (2026). Quote taken from JamesClear.com, https://jamesclear.com/quotes/making-a-choice-that-is-1-percent-better-or-1-percent-worse-seems-insignificant-in-the-moment-but-over-the-span-of-moments-that-make-up-a-lifetime-these-choices-determine-the-difference-betw

⁵ Habibi, M. A. (2024). Harnessing psychology in advanced strategic management. Psychology Today.  Available at: https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/mindful-leadership/202407/harnessing-psychology-in-advanced-strategic-management